It's a Tuesday. I had therapy today. That's a strange sentence. But it's become my Tuesday routine. After an hour, I head home. I sit here with a fire, barely noticeable, and my dog nuzzled into her spot on the couch. I talked in therapy how I decided to start writing a blog, fully aware I am well past the glory days of the blogging system. I was even reminded of blogs being "out" on the episode of The Office playing in the background. Talk about timing. Maybe I'm so behind the times, I am on the cusp of its resurgence. I told her "I decided...and I am going to start it this weekend." But, like most therapy sessions, I left with tears in my eyes and strength in my heart. I turn the tv off so I can focus. Why wait until the weekend? How do you start a blog? You google it. Then what? You get a little confused and reach out to a couple of friends with questions. Then what? You start it. The famous ad, "just do it" comes to mind.
But why a blog? Because my heart needs it...and some day someone else's will too. I told myself for years to write one but always convinced myself not to do it. It might be something as simple as not having time, not knowing how, or feeling like I don't have anything to say. I couldn't tell you the exact reason-it's all of them and more. My therapist asked me what I was going to include in my blog. My answer, "travel, journaling, and things in my life-particularly what's going on now with my grief." She smiled and said, "all journeys." And that's what I intend to include here.
Right now my heart is heavy and I am walking the hardest, loneliest road I have ever taken. I lost my dad. I want to write about it. I want to remember it. I want to grow from it. I want to help others through it. At one point, soon after my dad died (2 and 1/2 months to be exact), I became fixated on the word "walk", so much so I could not sleep and had to start writing it down. The specifics are for another day, but I thought about each "walk" that I had to do in such a short time frame. These walks have transformed my life and I want to be able to look back at the beginning. And so it begins.
But this is not the only journey in my life and I want to write about it all...the ordinary, the ugly, and the extraordinary.
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